Q: What is she like?
A: She’s nice.
My old roommate once yelled at me: “do not ever describe a girl as ‘nice,’ that’s just like saying she is BORING!”
It has been argued that I am a boring person and a firm argument can be presented that most of the women that I’ve dated were boring as well. But boringness needn’t be a terminal condition. Scientists have developed treatments.
Things to possibly talk about on a first (or second) date:
-your respective coworkers
-your respective parents
-an ad for a product or movie seen on the subway
-a restaurant different than the one you are presently in
-that you cried when Bambi’s mom died
-spoiler: Bambi’s mom dies :(
-your respective hometowns
-isn’t it weird that we grew up so near each other but are only meeting now
-sushi is better in California
-okay okay what’s your FAVORITE movie
-your generalized position on the political spectrum
-wow the coffee here is really good
-yeah this place is my favorite
The old phrase “nice guys finish last” makes sense to me. Boring people ought to finish last. Uninteresting, unexciting people are a drain on others, emotionally. Try to talk to boring people and they will resist your sexy charms and retreat further into themselves. It’s depressing.
Boring people live internally, even when they are socializing. So instead of engaging with someone, they hide from the other person. Conversation becomes stilted because the other person doesn’t know what to say to the boring person. Every conversational thread dies abruptly as the boring person merely absorbs energy, but rarely circulates energy.
Boring people are holes in the social landscape. They don’t agree or disagree, they just absorb what is sent to them and provide little feedback.
Conversation and socialization is supposed to be an interaction. A dialogue is described as “a back-and-forth.” Give something back to a conversation or you’re going to be a drain on the other person. They’ll eventually leave you alone.
You don’t want to be alone, do you, boring person?